she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
