My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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