I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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