ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
