Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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