Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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