I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I want a musical about memes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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