My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
