Acid is not a monday night drug
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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