I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
