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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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