He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
