Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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