you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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