She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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