We're like a lot better than the average bears
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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