If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
