To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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