Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I enjoy the company of your penis
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
