There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
