Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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