tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
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He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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