She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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