after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
