i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
