Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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