it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
