There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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