I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
