Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
