you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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