We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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