It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There are leaves in my underwear?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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