VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
