I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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