hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
