Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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