Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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