The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
