When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
