So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize