He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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