wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
