And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
