tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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