we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
