This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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