shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
