It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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