Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
