I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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