Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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