im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
