Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
