she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
