i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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