dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
